What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
