You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Randomize
