Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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