so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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