I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
