if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
