I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
