maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
