I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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