I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
