hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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