who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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