Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
