oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
