i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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