I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
