Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
