I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
