I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
