I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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