Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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