she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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