You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
