So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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