your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
