I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
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