Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
