Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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