he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
