what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
