Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
This is my gift to your gina
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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