I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
