I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Life is so much better after having sex.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
