If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
