and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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