Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
