he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
My dick has a subreddit
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
