I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
