My nipple is on Facebook.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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