How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
