Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
