But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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