If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Welp...herpes.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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