I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
