THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
