I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
