I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
