I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
You're my little dorito
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
