This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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