Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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