I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
